I am the king, aren't I?
by Vienely
Summary: Yoh is the Shaman King now and you know what's in the mind of this young ruler which full of pride?....all of the chapters in this fic are song-fics: 1) The Way I Am 2) Somewhere I Belong 3)Simon *updated* [status:keep on going!]
1. The way I am

**Disclaimer      :** Same old, same old…. *sigh*…I never own ManKin nor Way I am. Those two belong to their respective owners…of course Takei Hiroyuki and Eminem…*double sigh*…I wanna own Yoh…(-_-;)

**Warning          :** HEAVY OOC-ness…I've warned you…so don't sue me (^_-)

**Author's Note: **Just wanna show that every good people has the worst will inside them…that the difference between good people and bad people are the way they show their hatred and desire to others…good ones hide theirs inside their hearts while the bad ones show the whole world how they hate them so much…. and too much blabbering stinks, shoot me….(-_-;) This fic should be around months after the end of Shaman Fight, whenever it ends…(^_-). This is for those who have reviewed my previous fics, for those who have helped me, for Rina, Misai (where've you been??) and…. whoever…(^_^)

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Love is a feeling of great fondness or enthusiasm for a person or thing. Said the dictionary.

Friend is someone who knows and likes another person very well. Said the dictionary too.

King is a male ruler of a nation, who inherits his position by right of birth. Again, said the dictionary.

_Heh_

_Bullshit_

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While walking around downtown, Asakura Yoh, a lazy 15 years-old boy, met a girl. He watched her intently, and found out that the girl is a spirit. She was looking at goods displayed in a shop-window. Her eyes were tearing. Yoh came closer and greeted her with his famous smile. The girl told him about her wish, that she had wanted to buy her mother a brooch when her hour had arrived. So he walked into the shop and bought a nice-looking brooch then gave it to her. Thanking him a lot, the girl disappeared. Yoh continued his walk, back to his bored expression, headed to his house.

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Yoh was sleeping in the living room with his face covered with a book when Anna's sudden arrival awakened him. 

"Yoh, I got this from a girl spirit", she said as she threw a chocolate in his lap.

"Oh", he got up and put it on the table.

Anna went to her room to change her clothes into her usual black dress, leaving Yoh who was cursing her in his heart.

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**_And since birth I've been cursed with this curse to just curse and just blurt this bezerk _**

**_And bizarre shit that works, and it sells and it helps in itself to relieve all this tension_**

Dispensing these sentences, getting the stress that's been eatin' me recently off of this chest

Dammit, I'm so sleepy! Can't she just put that goddamn chocolate on wherever so that I'm not awaken?! I sighed and looked outside through the window. Falling leaves, describing the death of humans…just how many people have died for the S.F? How many people have lost their precious ones just to become the Shaman King? Stupid people…didn't they know that becoming the king is not that worthy? I, the king himself, admit it and feel sorry for them…but…

Okay, maybe I am acting kinda strange lately, but it's because something has grown inside my heart…even though I have tried to avoid it, I just couldn't…it backs again and again…this hunger…this desire…I want everybody to worship me! It's not like I want them to kneel whenever they see me or stuffs like that, but at least I want them to notice me! Hey, I AM the king! From thousands who wanted to be the Shaman King, I was the only one who succeeded and now, in my very-young age, I rule the Shaman world! Isn't that amazing?! Nobody ever thought that a 15 years-old boy who looks sleepy will be the leader, but me, is the proof! Not because the Asakura blood, not because I am Hao's bro, but it's all because of me myself! My power! Fuck off with friends, Anna's trainings, blah, blah, blah! I've had enough of those shits!

**I don't owe you a motherfucking thing**

**I'm not Mister NSYNC**

**I'm not what your friends think**

**I'm not Mister Friendly**

((Good Conscience: You know what? You're becoming like him…))

Like who?

((G.C:  Your brother))

Me? Yeah, right! I NEVER want to destroy the world!! I just want somebody who TRULY and HONESTLY adores me!!

((G.C: But you already have it! Your fiancée, your family, your friends…What else do you want?!))

((Bad Conscience: Hey, shaddup you loser! Don't listen to him; he's such a liar!))

((G.C: Come on, you know I AM right, Yoh))

((B.C: Kiss my ass, chicken!))

((G.C: I wasn't talking to you!!))

"Hey guys, stop it will ya?!", I said out.

"Who're you talkin' with, Yoh?" Anna tapped my shoulder and brought me back to the ground.

"Err…. my consciences?", I said it just for the sake of having something to answer her.

She chuckled and turned on the T.V. "Go see the doctor", she continued. 

**I can be a prick**

**If you tip me my tank is on empty**

**No patience is in me and if you offend me, I'm liftin' you ten feet in the air**

**I don't care who was there and who saw me destroy you**

**Well, call you a lawyer**

**File you a lawsuit**

**I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe**

((B.C: "Go see the doctor", huh? You wretch!))

((G.C: Hey, she was just joking! She didn't say it on purpose!))

((B.C: Go to hell! Oh wait, if you go there then hell will be boring! Ha!))

((G.C: I just hate you!))

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU TWO!! YOU'RE BOTHERING ME!!" I shouted.

"Yoh? Are you sure you okay?" Anna turned her head and I could see her worries inside her eyes. 

She came near me and placed her warm hand on my forehead. My heart jumped out, I thought I'd die throbbing. I still looking at her intently, as my eyes traveled from her eyes to her lips, her breast, her waist, her legs…"No fever", she said. Her words made me looked back at her and she saw me too. Her cheeks flushed a bit. "I think a cup of tea will recover you", she got up and walked to the kitchen.

((G.C: See? She loves you. She admires you. Though not all people notice your existence as the king, especially humans, but you are always be her king, her savior and her hero. 'Cos she loves you and your friends love you too))

((B.C: Uh huh. Who the hell are you? His mother?))

((G.C: Will you please not to interrupt me for just one second?!))

((B.C: That's what evils are for, dummy, to eliminate all good ones))

((G.C: Why you-!))

((B.C: Shh! I think this lil' buddy is in passion~~))

((G.C: Eww, gross! Love is not about sex!))

((B.C: But it makes sweeter~~~))

((G.C: Yeah, losing virginities, having babies, that's what you call sweet?))

((B.C: Use protections, stupid))

((G.C: Yoh, you wouldn't dare to touch her, right? She's your fiancée!))

((B.C: I bet she wants it as you do. Go have some fun, boy!))

((G.C: No, she does not!))

((B.C: Then that means she doesn't love you…Hey, that's the way! You should rape her and see if she'll struggle or not. Not means she loves you. Yes means she hates you and dump her!))

((G.C: WHAT?! ARE YOU CRAZY?!!))

((B.C: CLOSE YER DAMN MOUTH!!))

"AAAAAARRGGGHHH!!!! GET THE HELL OUTTA MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!"

"Yoh!!" Anna yelled, trying to get my conscious back. I blinked twice as I felt her grips on my arms.

"An…" My words choked in my throat.

She was just inches away from me. The fragrant smell of her hair, her intelligent and bewitching eyes and her pink-colored lips surely made my lust raised high. She heaved a sigh of relief then hugged me. "Thank God…" she continued.

((B.C: Oh yeah!!))

((G.C: NO!!))

**I'm tired of all you**

**I don't mean to be mean but that's all I can be**

**It's just me**

"Anna…" I grabbed her arms by force and threw her against the wall. "Whadda-?!" she perplexedly mumbled. A frown of disapproval was seen on her face. I smirked and pinned her elbows against the wall. "Ouch! Lemme g--Hmph!!" I cut her words by locking her lips with mine in a long, passionate kiss, not able to restrain anymore of my hunger. She stared wide-eyed. Her hands on my chest pushed me away, trying to free herself from my hug as best she could. But her efforts were all in vain cos I stiffened my grip, making her arms went limp. Then, without giving her a chance to break the kiss, I parted her lips with my tongue and slipped it into her mouth until it touched hers. Moans of desire were escaped into my mouth as I sucked her tongue. I pulled back and began to plant kisses along her neck. "Yoh…" she gasped into my ears, "…don-!" She groaned as my kisses turned into lustful love-bites. Slowly, I went further down to her shoulder, kissing and licking her smooth skin, while my left hand gently took off either of her dress'strings so that I could see her half-naked breast clearly. Broken loose, I nibbled her full, solid bust and sucked it slightly, making her squealed out. "Please, Yoh, don't!" she pleaded me as she started to resist against my grasp. However, it's hard for me to stop it just like that so I kept on going, avoiding her beg.

((B.C: You want it for so long, don't you~~?))

Hell yeah…

((G.C: …………Yoh…))

Whuddup?

((G.C: ……Are you sure you're happy with this?))

……Huh?

"Yoh!!" she cried out loud, tears already spilled on her cheeks. Suddenly, my mind brought me to back to reality. I loosened my grip and broke up. "……..….I-I…" I looked to my hands then her face and noticed that her eyes were filled with fury and disappointment. She quickly raised her right hand. Knew what's gonna happen, I shut my eyes tightly (a/n: Anna tidied her dress here…fast, isn't she?). But instead of direct hit, she placed her hands behind my neck and tenderly brushed her lips against mine. Surprised, I broke our kiss. "…Why?" I asked as her temple touched my own. She smiled. "Cos I know you need it", replied her, "Am I right?". I raised my eyebrows, couldn't believe what she had just said. "You're…not mad?" I muttered. "Oh please, all boys DO want make love first before the real love! Do you really think I'm THAT innocent?" she giggled. "But you were...". "Although I prefer not to hurry!" she cut, "It was all too sudden, Yoh, gimme a break…". She gave me a quick peck on the lips. "Then why on earth are you kissing me again? You realize that sex is always started with a kiss…" I said. "Well it is…but I trust you" she answered me. I pulled my head away and stared at her, "Trust?" I continued. "Yeah, I know you wouldn't touch me more than this" she smirked and captured my lips into another kiss. My eyes widened. I roughly cut it off and released her hands from the back of my neck. She was taken aback; you can say it from how she gawked at me. I left and walked to the terrace. "Yoh…" she called, "Yoh, I'm sorry! Did I hurt you? Yoh..!". But I just ignored her.

**'Cos I am, whatever you say I am **

**If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?**

No, Anna, you don't get it…I appreciate your open hands…you let me kiss you and you even understand that boys love sex, but...you too think that I can't go further than that…'course I don't want you to judge me as a pervert…I mean, what if I DIDN'T stop?? What if I DID fucked you?? WILL you mad?? WILL you slap me or kill me maybe?? WILL you lose your faith in me?? I'm not ALWAYS the idle boy!! I CAN change!! Why WON'T you understand 'bout that?!! Do I HAVE to be the SAME OLD JERK?!! THE SAME LOSER?!! I AM THE KING!! AT LEAST THINK ABOUT ME HIGHER!! I'M ON THE TOP NOW!! IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME, THEN WHY SHOULD I MARRY YOU?!!

She approached me silently. I was sitting on the wooden floor of the terrace as I saw a leaf falling before me. I snatched it without thinking. "Yoh…"she quietly kneeled beside me. She put her hands on my face, pulling it closer to hers. She stared right into my eyes then sighed.

"…Are you happy, Yoh?" she whispered.

………..What?

She took me into her embrace and stayed mute. I looked at my palm.

……..Leaf….………

I clutched it firmly.

Dammit…

**I don't know it's just the way I am**

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Okay, how was that?? I know it WAS bad…stab me (-_-;) Oh by the way, please tell me if you want to read the next chapter…cos if no one wants to, then why should I make one, for heaven's sake?? Yeah, whatever…please R+R!   m(_ _)m


	2. Somewhere I belong

**Disclaimer     :** Mankin? Nope, not mine. Story? Yep! And the lyric's from Somewhere I Belong by L.P

**Author's note:** Remember what I told ya before!! Not all good people ARE good inside!! SO please be careful when you read this fic!!! Cos I make the good becomes bad and of course the opposite too… (_) Or in the other words, heavy OOC-ness around! Thanks for Unmei-san, CTR-san, Rally-san, Unpredictable.I-san, Sweet Anime Fan-san (sorry, I'm confusing you ^-^;) and Kitsune-san. And…no, I don't know where I should put this fic (_) Please tell me is it PG-13 or R cos, yanno, when I read the rule, it said PG-13 -- Nudity absent…so…help me out…*teary eyes*

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**_I get lost in the nothingness inside me_**

I was confused 

**_And I let it all out to find that I'm not the only person with these things in mind_**

**_Inside of me_**

**_When all that they can see the words within is the only real thing that I've got left to feel_**

**_I was confused_**

**_Looking everywhere, only to find that it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind_**

**_So what am I?_**

**_What do I have, but negativity coz I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me_**

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=DRIIIIING=

Stupid alarm clock…

"Yoh, you sleepyhead, rise and shine!!" Anna yelled, taking off my blanket that was curling me all night long.

"…Shaddup…today's Sunday and it's only 8 in the morning…" I grabbed my blanket from her and pulled it over my head.

I tried to go back to the land of dreams, but couldn't, for her frame had placed on top of mine, only parted by the blanket, waking me up completely.

"…Err…Anna…don't you think it's too early?" I spoke in a soft voice.

"…Morning, sluggard" she smiled and got up from her position.

I was speechless. Damn man, she's just too hard to be beaten!! It feels like I'm the king of loser in front of her…

_((Bad Conscience: Show her!))_

_((Good Conscience: It's still morning, Yoh))_

Oh no, not you two AGAIN!!

_((B.C: Don't say it like I'm a devil…))_

_((G.C: Ahem!))_

_(B.C: Oh right! I'm the bad side…sorry =P))_

"Here goes the dreamy shaman…my God, Yoh, WAKE UP!!!" she hollered, shaking my body.

I switched my gaze from the ceiling to her then seized her by the hand and pulled her onto my chest.

"I am up", I murmured against her mouth, "and watch yer words, missy, I'm a little bit touchy today"

I let go of her and went to the bathroom, not knowing that her heart was full of questions.

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I wanna heal I wanna feel what I thought was never real 

**_I wanna let go of the pain I felt so long_**

**_Erase all the pain till it's gone_**

**_I wanna heal I wanna feel like I'm close to something real_**

**_I wanna find something I wanted all along_**

**_Somewhere I belong_**

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Walking…walking…walking…without no one besides me…dammit…know what? I just luv that word…dammit…

I was taking a walk in the park alone, trying to get attention from the world. But as usual, nobody hailed me instead of the ghosts. Is this what I suppose to receive after those nearly died battles?? After all the hard work I've done?? Being forgotten?? "Oi" I felt somebody patted my back so I turned my head. He's there, simply smiling. Stood next to him is his girlfriend, the long-blonde haired girl with a cold expression. "What's wrong with you, bro? You look awful…" he anxiously looked at me. "Oh, it's you…I thought it was…" I stopped. "…Someone who 'knows' you?" he grinned. I stared at him for seconds then exhaled noisily. "I hate it when you do that" I continued. "Hao", Marion cut the line, "I think I forgot to buy something". "Well, I'll be waiting here", he bent down a little and kissed her lips, "Don't take so long". "I won't" she bowed her head quickly while passing me and rushed away.

"So", he smiled again, "how've you been?". "Like a shit" I sat down on the bench near us. He walked to the vending machine at the side of the bench. "I see…" he said as he put some coins into it, "What d'ya want?". "No, thanks" I answered. "Alright then" he pushed a button then took the can and opened it. "And Anna? How's she?" he asked, drinking his juice. "Oh, that bitch? She's fine…" I perfunctory replied. He held the can strongly in his fist. The can was crushed and it's contain was spread all over the ground. He goggled at me. "What'chu say?" he uttered. Okay, NOW I think I just said something horrible, but, hey, who IS he, trying to tell that my words were inapt? "I SAID" I raised my voice "THAT BITCH'S FINE!". Out of the blue, he knocked me right on my jaw, causing it to bleed. "WHAT THE FUCK-?!" I roared. He grabbed my shirt and said silently, "Look, buster, if I hear you calling her like that again, I'ma kill you with my own hands!". "Why DON'T you kill me now, huh?!", I glared at him, "I'm sick of this life already!!". He scowled for a moment and threw me back to the bench. "Asshole" he continued. I wiped the blood as he sat down by me. 

"Something tells me that you're a different Yoh" he observed me intently. "Don't piss me off", I hissed, "Even if I tell it to you, you won't understand". "Fool", he said with smile, "I was the Shaman King". I blinked, "…Yeah, you're right…how can I forget bout dat…". "Well…the problem is?" he lifted his eyebrows. I glanced at him and decided to tell him the truth. After all, he's my brother.

"I don't like this", I explained, "I fought really hard just to be the king but what do I get now?! No fucking things!! Nobody ever comes and greets me and says 'Hey, you're the king!! What a pleasure to meet you!!' or 'My goodness, you're the savior!!' or at any rate congratulates me!! Hello ~ ~ I almost died back then!! I know it sounds egoistic but I WANT AN ALTERATION!! I'm tired for being a lousy and keeping that I-don't-care attitude in me!! Just who the hell am I?! Angel?! Nu-uh!! I'm a young boy full with emotions inside who's hoping that something will change my entirely boring life and, BAM, I got it!! Being the king is my chance!! H-O-W-E-V-E-R, it seems that NOBODY give a damn!! They're all still treating me as a dork!! They think I'm still the ol' Yoh!! They just don't see my REAL SIDE!! But I guess if I DO show it up, they'll all think that I'm sick and say 'Come, come, Yoh, this is not you, what've happened?' as if they know my TRUE FEELINGS!! AND IT'S WEIRDER COS I'M TELLING ALL THESE SILLY THINGS TO MY OLD ENEMY NOT TO MY FRIENDS OR EVEN ANNA!!!" By the time I finished my line, I panted.

"…O…kay, calm down, start breathin…", he told me, "…err…if I'm not wrong, you want all the people in the world regard you as their leader?". I nodded and went in to a huff. Somehow he started to laugh, breaking the silence that was remained between us. "What's so funny?!" I asked. "Sorry", he said between laughs, "I'm just thinking that this whole things are unbelievable". He laughed even more loudly. "Cut IT out!!" I yelled, "What're ya laughing at?!" He finally soothed. "Listen, Yoh", he said with chuckle, "don't you feel like our inner sides have changed one another??" I fell silent for a while. "What?" I continued. "Yanno…when I heard it, I saw you as you were me from the past. Can't you recognize that?", he smirked, "Find that you are me and I am you now is bitingly funny". After I could manage my shock, I asked, "But how-?". "Piece of cake", he uttered, "I DID thought bout those things too. I wanted to annihilate all humans so shamans could take control of this earth, that's the clicheé. But the truth is I wanted to annihilate them because they'd turned me down. They treated shamans, especially me, badly, as we're evils or something like that. I couldn't afford it so I tried to destroy them all since I was the Shaman King. In your case, you despise BOTH humans and shamans cos they still think that you're as pathetic as you were". "Uh huh…" I mumbled. "Well…what I'm trying to say is…", he clarified, "You are such a selfish dumb who needs to be sorry for". I sighed deeply as my response.

He touched my shoulder and serenely said, "You don't need to go the same route that I went, Yoh. Been there, done that, fuck it".(a/n: okay…maybe some of you realize where this sentence from…yep it's from Guilty Conscience – Eminem). I didn't say anything to him. "Sorry I'm late!" Marion shouted as she ran toward us. Hao welcomed her with a smile. I stood up and walked away from them. "Yoh," he called, "is it okay if I leave you alone? I don't want something unexpected happens if-". "I'm all right", I broke off his words, "See ya". I turned my back on them once more, but before I could go further, he gave me a pat on the head, "Take care". And he left me there.

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I will never know myself until I do this on my own 

**_And I will never feel, anything else until my wounds are healed_**

**_I will never be anything till I break away from me_**

**_I will break away, and find myself today_**

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It's very difficult to show Yoh and Hao's other sides…oh God. Btw, this is, yep, YohxAnna and HaoxMari, yep, yep, yep; I love those couples, oh yep, yep, yep!! (^_-) R+R plizzz!!! Sialan, otak gua stuck nieh!!! 


	3. Simon

**Disclaimer      : **Mankin © Hiroyuki Takei; Simon © Suede

**Author's note : **Finally, the third chapter's up!!! Thank goodness~ ~ (+_+) Thanks for y'all reviewers!  m(_ _)m  Hey, if you don't mind please take my quiz bout Mankin and vote for me ^-^ at Quizilla.com try 'search'. My ID is DeadcupiD.

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_Where did my past which full of friends go?_

_Where did my dream to live an easy life go?_

_Where did my easy-going disposition go?_

_Where did my former self go?_

_Is this me is truly myself?_

_May I live as myself?_

_May I?_

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I'll open my mind deep inside yes I know its blue 

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Hush, emptiness; no one's here. I'm fed up already, thinking and thinking. I admit that I don't like to think heavy stuffs. In fact, I hate thinking. But, whether I want to or not, when I'm alone, those thoughts back to haunt my mind. And they begin devouring my awareness; inviting me to the shadiness. Now, I feel like I want to sleep forever. A still and peaceful sleep and I don't have to wake up anymore…

RRRRRRRRR…

The ring of the telephone in the midst of this loneliness caught my soul; taking me back to reality. Somewhat reluctantly, I forced my feet to step and answered it. "Yoh," so it's Anna, "please pick me up at the station. It's raining and I forgot to bring an umbrella." I glanced at the window. Raining, indeed, but it's only drizzling. It doesn't really matter though; she's merely gonna wet a bit. Nevertheless, I was too tired to argue with her so I just granted her request. "Fine," I said then hung up. I calmly wore my jacket, but firstly took her usual raincoat from her room. When I was walking to the garage where my motorbike is, I felt raindrops which came down more and more hard showered my head, so I lifted my jacket's cap (**a/n:** 'k! I dunno what's 'tudung' in English!! Don't sue me please ^^;) and walked again.

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_No one believed you when you said your heart was blue_

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"Over here!" she waved her hand in order that I could find her among the crowd. I stopped right beside her then gave her the raincoat. She promptly put it on and sat back of me. Without saying a thing, I started. I drove it slow; not that I'm afraid she'd fall, she's the one who doesn't want herself to fall. Actually, I don't care whether she'd fall or not; I really wish to increase the speed and leave her sprawl on the street. She's alive or dead, none of my business, as long as I'm freed from her. But on second thought, I can't do that. Cos if I DO kill my fiancée, I guess my family won't simply sit tight! Darn, I really hate thinking! Then why should I think of shits like these?! A slight of jerk scattered my daydreams. I believed I'd just passed a traffic-bump without braking. Her arms that were around my waist since some times ago, when I alerted, her embrace became tighter. Well…probably that jerk was too strong, I've no idea…Suddenly I felt strange; it's too taut! Is she tryin to kill me or what?! I looked at her in a flash from the corner of my eyes and realized that she'd taken off her raincoat. Wondering, I asked rather loud, "Where's yer damn raincoat?! You'll get sick if you don't wear it! What d'ya want?!"  She put down my jacket's cap then whispered into my ear, "you…"

She moved her mouth to my earlobe and nibbled on it, sending shivers down my spine. I strengthened my grab on the handle as her tongue caressed my earlobe. Hang on, Yoh, hang on…you can't lose yer self-control at this place!! In the middle of…I looked around. Hey, nobody seems here, apparently we've gone by the town and busy places. Besides, the sky's dark cos it's clouded over and this quite-heavy rain blurs the vision. So this means…She unzipped my jacket and tenderly slid her delicate hand. Unfortunately…or fortunately, I didn't button up my shirt, as usual, so to speak my chest was completely bare. She ran her fingers over my chest in a rotary motion and pressed her soaked torso against my back even more closely. That's when I aware of something. "Goddammit…Anna, you're not wearing your bra?!" yelled me. "Shh," she breathed, "what's the big deal?" She caused a moan out from my throat by licking my neck from behind. Her clearly felt nipples added the ecstasy. Shit, I can't stand my passion any longer! I wanna kiss her; I wanna touch her; I wanna fuck her here on the spot bare!! As if the heaven heard my prayer, the gate at a railroad crossing went down, blocking the way. I put on the brakes and, with my right hand, I held the left handle to prevent the motorbike from falling while I shifted half of my upper body to the rear. Reacting, she captured my lips torridly in hers. The kiss had neither mildness nor warmth; it was deep, desirous and so demanding. I played my tongue roughly in her mouth as she groaned from the friction. My left hand smoothly rubbed her thigh then traveled up to her slender waist, slipped under her skirt. She changed the place of her arms from my body to my neck at the same time as her teeth bit my nether lip. She took my tongue and began sucking it, seducing me greatly. 

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Simon, are you somewhere in my soul? Are you nothing but a notion? 

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God, I really can't take it anymore!! I want her!! I'm dying for her!! If I take her virginity away, is it okay?? …I guess it's not a problem since she's gonna be my wife…whether I take it now or then, there's no disparity. But…will she get mad?? I mean, well…at the first time, she did understood my outburst…she thought that it's normal cos I am, after all, a boy. However, the one who is losing restraint now is her; a GIRL! Personally, I never expect a girl to breakloose, especially Anna! Come to think of it, this event seems strange on the whole…I just can't picture her doing this! She actually WON'T do this if she IS the same Anna! The Anna whom I KNOW has too much dignity to humiliate herself like this! The Anna whom I KNOW WILL slap me if I kiss her! The Anna whom I KNOW WILL and IS GOING TO KILL ME if I slip my hand under her skirt and place it ON her WAIST!! THAT is the Anna I know!! Therefore, who is THIS Anna?! This isn't MY Anna!! This is CERTAINLY NOT her!!! Where IS she?!!

Snapped out of my reverie, I gasped for air and grew distant from her. I back to my position, rousing her curiosity. "Anything wrong, Yoh?" she inquired. "Yeah," replied me, "you are." She blinked, "And that means?" "Please, Anna, this isn't you…" I sighed, "Just where's yer pride, huh?" Probably, she offended by my words cos she said, "Oh, is it? Mr. La-di-da? Then how bout ya?" "Me? What has it got to do with me?!" I retorted. "YOU, are the one who kissed me first and ALMOST raped me! YOU, are the one who got mad all of a sudden and grumbled like a grumpy ol' man! YOU, are the one who made decisions as you wish! YOU, are the one who showed yer true self but yet jeer at mine! This IS the other side of me, Yoh, just exactly like the one you revealed yesterday; the one you have inside you! I know that you wanna show your greatness and want to do anything as you please since you're the king, but if you can't respect other's feelings then how can you expect other people to respect you?!!" she angrily shouted. A quarrel unexpectedly flared up between us. "Hey, THIS and THAT are TOTALLY DIVERSE!!" hollered me. "It's NOT!!" she insisted. "Look! All the things I said is for yer OWN good!! YOU'RE THE WIFE OF THE KING SO BEHAVE LIKE YOU SUPPOSE TO!! NOT ACTING LIKE A WHORE!!!" I snapped. She fought me back, "YOU YERSELF ARE ACTING LIKE A BASTARD!!! YOU SHOULD'VE ACTED LIKE A KING, BUT IN MY EYES YOU'RE JUST BITCHING AND BEEFING ABOUT EVERYTHING!!! D'YA REALLY THINK IT"S GOOD, YA RASCAL?!!!" A glare of her eyes troubled me. Silence fell; but quickly broke up by the sound of a train passing. Not so long, the train disappeared into the tunnel and the gate was wide open. "Beat it," told me. She got off and looked at me furiously, frowning, then declared, "Forget bout our engagement, I don't wanna marry a son of a bitch like you." "Go screw yerself," I answered, and without even turning my head, I went away. 

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_Simon, where do we go?_

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I drove my motorbike at excessive speed. Fuck it that gal!! What a slut!! Guess I've to choke her next time!!! When my pace had reached 120 ml/hr, abruptly, a child ran across the street. Surprised, I veered sharply and, with a reflex, released my grip. I was flung away then fell smack on the road. That motorbike kept running till it bumped against the wall as I laid on the asphalt with some blood on my hands, legs and my face. I tried to stand up and wobbly came near him. "H-Hey, kid! You okay?!" I lifted him up while pointing his face to my direction. I startled for seconds. My god…Manta!! Hurriedly, I helped him to regain his consciousness, "Manta! Manta!! Wake up!! Please, I beg you!!" His eyelids opened little by little. He stared at me then smiled. "Yoh," said him, "we all love you." I gawked, "huh?" He maintained, "For that reason, Yoh, don't you be of the opinion that you're lonesome cos as a matter of fact, you're not." "What're ya babbling about??" I laughed nervously, "You too think that I'm a loser, don't ya?? You too belittle me, don't ya?? You too are the SAME with those guys, aren't ya?!" Shaking his head, he replied, "…That's only your judgment. Do you really know the truth?? Have ya ever asked to me; to them; bout our real feelings toward you?? Have you?! You may be the Shaman King, but you ARE merely a human; a kid; no doubt! You're not able to read someone's heart from his surface! You–are–still–a–human!!" "I don't wanna hear it…" said me. "But you MUST!!" he continued, "You CAN'T DETERMINE all things by YOURSELF!! You can't kill somebody just because you FEEL AS THOUGH he looks down on you!! No, you MUSN'T FEEL!! YOU HAVE TO JUSTIFY IT!!" I rejected once more, "I don't wanna hear it!" "YOU HAVE TO LOOK FOR THE FACT; NOT ONLY GUESSING!!! COS IF YOU'RE STILL LIKE THAT, THEN YOU"RE NO DIFFERENT FROM HAO!!!" screamed him.

"I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!!!"

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_It's raining inside and it's raining tonight and it's raining for me and for you_

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"Nii-san…" that little boy approached me, "…are you all right, nii-san? What's wrong? Are you sick?" I clutched my hands as my tears dropped on the road. The rain was very hard and that boy trembled from the chilliness; but all I could see was nothing instead of the darkness which eating me completely. At that moment, the feeling returned again. The longing to sleep and not come back anymore…

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Err…whatever  (_;) please R+R!! 


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